Analyzing Me: Looking on the bright side

It's Monday night and I feel like I can't wait for the weekend. I don't know why I feel like this but I just do.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed your weekends despite the rain. Mine was good. No drama. Just the way I like it. Too much drama is not good for the soul. Besides, who the heck wants to be surrounded by constant negative energy? 

I sure don't. 

For once in my life, I am trying to look on the brighter side of things (although, Richard would say otherwise). After this past year, I think I can afford to see things in a more positive light rather than negative. Since, I have reached the age of 30, I have found myself doing a lot of thinking. And I mean A LOT of thinking. I think so much sometimes that my brain feels like its going to explode! But that's just me being my usual quirky self. 

That's funny. Growing up, I always thought of myself as an outsider. I mean I had friends but I was never "down" with them. At least that was how I felt. I mean I dressed different, spoke with an accent which no one understood seeing how that I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I didn't share the same likes as most. I was just me. And now I realize that was fine to be that way back then.

I have finally accepted that I am short, heavyset and dark-skinned woman with super coarse hair and a sassy disposition. Sometimes I find myself looking in the mirror and shudder, but I push pass all of that and say, "Hey, this is me. Take it or leave it."

I even noticed that I am less grumpier in the mornings. I groan less at the mere idea of me leaving the house to deal with the craziness that is the Back To Work program.

Don't get me wrong. I still struggle with trying to understand who I am and what I want to be. I figured by now that I would have had all the answers, but I don't.  Quite frankly I don't believe I ever will. That's just how things go sometimes.

What I am sure on is that I love myself and I love the man that I am with deeply. Over the years, he has taught me (albeit sometimes his methods maybe be unorthodox) how much I am worth. Every time I falter he is there to help me see what was there all along. And its unfortunate because I don't think a lot of people have that luxury of having someone in their life to help guide them through the good and bad times.

After a year of one of the worst moments of my life, I can look back and actually say that I can move on to bigger and better things. I want more out of life than the usual he said-she said drama. That stuff is history for me.

This may sound cliche, but you have to look on the brighter side of things. Because if you don't you can't move forward. I just hope that everyone can find themselves and leave the excess baggage behind.

Don't take it with you because the past doesn't define who you are. It is the lessons learned from the past that helps shape who you are to become.

LOL.

Sorry guys, if this is too deep. But I just had to put this out there. I felt like I had to. So now you know a little more about me and my inner workings. I hope this blog was helpful to anyone who just needed a simple reminder on who they are.

~Until We Meet Again
GeeJay~