Family. That's What It's All About.
Hi guys,
Hope all is well with you. As for me, I am doing fine. I wanted to share with you something.....I recently celebrated a friend's birthday on Saturday. I enjoyed myself. Especially, since it was a surprise birthday party set up by her husband of four years. She was shocked! I think her heart nearly popped out of her chest, but you know what? I think she loved it.
As I sat there among friends and family, I really understood what it was like to be loved.
Even more so, when her mother spoke about giving birth to her and developing the love that a mother has for her child, it dawned on me that I wished I had had that same relationship with my own mother. I mean, yes, it is true that I love my mother, but unlike my friend and her mother, I can't talk to my mother about everything. There is always a feeling of disappointment and shame that I am her daughter. It was the reality that I feel that she would never approve of my decisions, because she wants to control my destiny for me.
It made me ache to know that in all of my 29 years, I have never really felt that close to my mother. To be honest, just saying it in my head sounds like a foreign concept. But it is true. I wish that I could be open to say what I feel, but I fear that I would be always met with criticism, and to be honest who wants to deal with that?
Even though she has told me that I could talk to her about anything, I don't believe her. I feel that she is only saying that just to trick me into saying something that she won't approve of and then start to judge me. For me, I rather avoid a potential problem than to have the problem aggravate me to no end. However, I know that avoiding the situation isn't going to solve the problem.
Don't get me wrong, my mother, is not a bad mother. She is not a bad person. I just think that she is too set in her ways. She comes from a time where you certain things are expected of a woman. And I am not the conventional woman. I don't cook for my man, or clean after him. I am just me. I don't typically depend on him for financial support either. Well, that part she has told me not too, but she tends to contradict herself half the time.
But not to dwell on my mother. I love the fact that my friend and her mother are like best friends. They can talk to each other about anything and that's what makes the bond between mother and daughter so strong. I think some parents like to think of their children as just children. As if they can't see beyond that and that's not right. Sometimes children need to feel validated, like they can come to talk their parents about anything without getting discouraged. At least, that's what I always wanted. I just wonder if that will ever happen for me as it is for my friend and her mother. Only time will tell.
~GeeJay~
Hope all is well with you. As for me, I am doing fine. I wanted to share with you something.....I recently celebrated a friend's birthday on Saturday. I enjoyed myself. Especially, since it was a surprise birthday party set up by her husband of four years. She was shocked! I think her heart nearly popped out of her chest, but you know what? I think she loved it.
As I sat there among friends and family, I really understood what it was like to be loved.
Even more so, when her mother spoke about giving birth to her and developing the love that a mother has for her child, it dawned on me that I wished I had had that same relationship with my own mother. I mean, yes, it is true that I love my mother, but unlike my friend and her mother, I can't talk to my mother about everything. There is always a feeling of disappointment and shame that I am her daughter. It was the reality that I feel that she would never approve of my decisions, because she wants to control my destiny for me.
It made me ache to know that in all of my 29 years, I have never really felt that close to my mother. To be honest, just saying it in my head sounds like a foreign concept. But it is true. I wish that I could be open to say what I feel, but I fear that I would be always met with criticism, and to be honest who wants to deal with that?
Even though she has told me that I could talk to her about anything, I don't believe her. I feel that she is only saying that just to trick me into saying something that she won't approve of and then start to judge me. For me, I rather avoid a potential problem than to have the problem aggravate me to no end. However, I know that avoiding the situation isn't going to solve the problem.
Don't get me wrong, my mother, is not a bad mother. She is not a bad person. I just think that she is too set in her ways. She comes from a time where you certain things are expected of a woman. And I am not the conventional woman. I don't cook for my man, or clean after him. I am just me. I don't typically depend on him for financial support either. Well, that part she has told me not too, but she tends to contradict herself half the time.
But not to dwell on my mother. I love the fact that my friend and her mother are like best friends. They can talk to each other about anything and that's what makes the bond between mother and daughter so strong. I think some parents like to think of their children as just children. As if they can't see beyond that and that's not right. Sometimes children need to feel validated, like they can come to talk their parents about anything without getting discouraged. At least, that's what I always wanted. I just wonder if that will ever happen for me as it is for my friend and her mother. Only time will tell.
~GeeJay~
It will happen once you accept the fact of life that goes a bit like this. Honor thy father and thy mother...but liking them is up to you. As she is set in her ways like most parents/adults we as enlightened young people have a chance to use that to get around the ruff edges no one tests the waters to see if theyll drown. They simply accept that they cant swim and enjoy a cruise allowing them and the water an easier relationship. You cant expect that sort of relationship without some pride sacrificing understanding. You being a strong minded individual have difficulty accepting certain things and "playing ball". In essence once you stop waiting for her to adhere to what you would call acceptable behavior toward your decisions and employ a strictly respectful disposition...She is more than likely going to take full advantage and mistake that respect for weakness thereby setting herself up to get owned by the fact that though you respect her right as a parent to open her mouth...you dont have to abide by what she is saying....Or break her own walls down and rip her thorns away from what imaginary cage you think she intends to put around you. Acceptance and respect are the way to such a relationship. Realize who both of you are and take it from there.
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